Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again
by KaeKaeBeaux
Summary: SUMMARIES NOT MY THING MUST READ TO FIND OUT SLIGHT SHONENAI, SLIGHT YAOI UNDERTONES


_You were once  
my one companion . . .  
you were all  
that mattered . . ._

Cain could only wonder what happened to Riff after he left. Was he lost, just trying argue with himself, or was he truly evil, bent on destroying him? He didn't want to believe that Riff had betrayed him, he wouldn't believe it. Not after all they'd been through. Seven long years.

_  
You were once  
a friend and father -  
then my world  
was shattered . . .  
_

He held him the way no one would, his arms strong and protecting. His heart was breaking like glass at those times, and Riff had been the one to put the pieces back in place, as if the puzzle was made for a three year old. But nothing stays intact forever. And now his heart was breaking again.

When his father had beaten him, Riff would help him through it, send the pain away, as if it was a moth flying around someone's face. He was more of a parent than he own father.

_  
Wishing you were  
somehow here again . . .  
wishing you were  
somehow near . . ._

Cain could feel hot tears rolling down his cheeks, dripping onto his fists that were resting on the desk beside his head. He slammed them down, almost hard enough to break his own fingers. Through the warmth of the tears flooding through him, he could almost feel Riff reached out to comfort him, one last time.

He only wished it actually was him.

_  
Sometimes it seemed  
if I just dreamed,  
somehow you would  
be here . . . _

Wishing I could  
hear your voice again . . .  
knowing that I  
never would . . . 

"_**Lord Cain…I've sworn to accompany you, even to hell…isn't that enough?"**_

"…_**I'm selfish…" **_

The words he'd shared with him, the sweet words he'd received, they were all coming back to him. He wanted them to go away, he wanted them to stay, he wanted to go back to that time, he never wanted to have those memories; too many feelings erupted in his heart, enough to make him swell with hatred. Hatred of himself, Riff, and everything around him.

Nothing could ever make the pain go away, even if Riff ever spoke to him again, sweetly or cruelly. He didn't know what he wanted. One part of him wanted to hear Riff's voice, the other wanted to forget all about the smooth, deep sounds it made.

It wasn't too long until his own thoughts put him to sleep, cold tears dried on his cheeks and under his eyes.

_Dreaming of you  
won't help me to do  
all that you dreamed  
I could . . ._

"_**Lord Cain…why are you crying…?" Riff's voice was soft, beautiful.**_

"_**What's so funny? Your smile annoys me for some reason…" Cain's was sweet, playful.**_

"_**You're the pathetic one! Taking your anger out on Lord Cain. Pathetic." Riff was protective, strong.**_

"_**How much did I want to wring that skinny neck of yours, Count." and he became harsh, cruel. Right before his eyes. Riff had believed in him for so long, and now…he was killing him…in more ways than one…**_

_Passing bells  
and sculpted angels,  
cold and monumental_

_seem, for you,  
the wrong companions -  
you were warm and gentle . . ._

Cain woke up, fresh tears falling onto the desk. He wiped them away and donned his black trench coat. As he left his room, he was stopped by Mary Weather, who had not seen him for days, on account of him being locked all alone in his room. Cain said nothing to her until she grabbed his sleeve.

"Brother, I've never seen you cry before, I want to know what's going on! When is Riff coming back?" Mary pleaded for him to tell her. The mention of Riff's name, brought sharp pains in his chest, ache in his heart.

"I…cannot answer your question…" Cain mumbled, pulling out of her grasp and walking away. His body felt cold, as if he'd stood out in the freezing winter wind, for days on end, or if he'd been living on the frozen lake for a week.

He left the mansion, thinkin he'd left all thoughts of Riff behind, but as he passed through the cemetery, a glance at Suzette's grave brought one single memory back.

"_Cain…without this antidote, that man will die…" said the Suzette doppelganger. "You know what you have to do…to get it…" _

"_I swear my loyalty to you…now please, give me the antidote!" _

"NO!" Cain grasped at his hair, falling onto the grave, hunching over, pounding his fists against the cold stone. The angel drawn into the tombstone cracked at its chest, showing the perfect picture of a perfectly broken heart.

Not even the stone angel standing in the snow three feet away from him would be perfect enough for Riff's grave. Cain would make sure it was broken, like himself.

_Too many years  
fighting back tears . . .  
Why can't the past  
just die . . .?_

Seven years. Seven long years that Riff held him, and once begged him to stop crying. But after the first time, he never did again. Not one single tear passed his eyes until he was alone again. Just like he was when his little baby bird died, and like he was when he sat in the gardens, just thinking about life without having to be beaten.

"Someone…someone kill me…" Cain was crying again, and it felt like the tears were freezing to his face. His body was shaking with his uncontrollable sobs, and he punched at the hard stone again.

"I gladly will, Cain." a very familiar voice whispered to him cruelly. He spun around to meet the cold eyes of a once loyal companion.

_  
Wishing you were  
somehow here again . . .  
knowing we must  
say goodbye . . ._

"Why are you here?" Cain growled, trying to force down the lump in his throat.

"Oh, you didn't want me to kill you? What a pity," Riff shook his head, smirking. He reached out for Cain's neck, but Cain avoided the pale hands, swerving to the side and forcing himself to stand.

"Leave. You have no business here." Cain growled again, glaring at the man. He took a step back until he was backed into the statue.

"Oh, I don't?" Riff stepped forward, hands on either side of Cain's head so that he couldn't move, or change his position. "Get away from the statue. It's a trap." he whispered.

Cain ducked under his arms, glaring at him still. "Goodbye, Riff." As he began to walk away, he heard the sound of stone rubbing against stone, and then the breaking of stones as they fell to the ground. He spun around to see Riff gone, a splattered line of blood lay across the gray stones, buried in the thin layer of snow.

"Goodbye, Riff." he said again, this time, he began to cry one more time before leaving the graveyard.

_Try to forgive . . .  
teach me to live . . .  
give me the strength  
to try . . ._

_  
_He returned that night, however, this time with a white lily in his hand, and lay it on the snow by the broken stones. Even in Riff's cruelty, he was forgiven. His being cold had saved Cain, even though he didn't like the evil side of his beloved friend, there was something he could say that he would never say to anyone else. Riff had forgiven him, even through his love, hate state of mind.

_No more memories,  
no more silent tears . . .  
No more gazing across  
the wasted years . . .  
Help me say  
goodbye.  
_

"So long, Riff."

END

like i said songfics are NOT MY THING XD

anyway the song was Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again from Phantom of the Opera


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